L Stands for Love: Deathlove
by ShadowYin-Yang
Summary: Death is the only thing that can break 2 lovers apart. 'I love you Ryuzaki Kun' '...I'm way too old for you.' 'I don't care even if you were 3 times my age or more' Age doesn't tear apart lovers. She knew that even before she lost L to death...to Kira.
1. Too Late

**My first and probably only Deathnote fanfic I'll make. I love L to death, and you won't believe how sad I felt when he died! It didn't help watching him die more than once when I watched the live movies. But anyway, I think this idea came to me while thinking if L and I would make a good couple or not. That led me to thinking what type of girl L is into. And then after that is just slowly developed into a story and here it is!**

**Okay, this obviously took place after L's death but before the manga/anime ends. **

2004-L's headquarters-Japan:

L was in deep thought. Everybody's going to panic if he doesn't figure out who killed Watari this minute! The shinigami Rem! That had to be it!

"Everyone, the shiniga-" L picked up his spoon to get some more sugar for his drink but he stopped.

"Huh? What's wrong, Ryuzaki?" Soichiro asked when he saw L's strange behavior. L dropped his spoon as he started to fall off his seat. Light reached over and caught L before he hit the floor.

"Ryuzaki?!"

Everyone stared in horror. L stared at Light,

"_Light Yagami…!" _

L looked up at Light's triumphant smirk hidden from everyone else's view.

"_I knew it…" _L felt cold.

"_I wasn't wrong…" _his eyelids began closing.

"_I…but…" _L's eyes completely shut and his body fell limb.

"_But…now I'll never get the chance to…tell Onshu and ask her to…" _L didn't hear the screams and panic of the people around him anymore. His heart stopped beating.

20 days later-The Wammy's House/Wammy's Orphanage-England:

The transmission was finally done. The message appeared on the cell phone's screen:

_**L is dead**_

Mr. Roger could not believe it has come to this. He got up from his chair and out of his office and grabbed a hold of a blonde boy,

"Mello. And Near, come to my room," he said looking at the blonde boy and then the white-haired boy playing with a puzzle.

"What is it, Roger?" Mello almost demanded.

"…L is dead."

The puzzle was stopped being put together.

"Dead?! W-Why?!" Mello exclaimed. Near continued to finish his puzzle as he waited for Mello to calm down. He puts in the last piece.

"If you can't beat the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, you're nothing by a loser," said Near and dumps the pieces off to start the puzzle over.

"So then which of us did L…?" Mello wanted to asked.

"Neither of you, yet…He can't choose now that he's dead."

Mello didn't like that answer, at all.

"Mello, Near…How about you two work together?"

"Yeah, sounds good," said Near putting the puzzles back together again but twice as fast. Near himself didn't care as much as Mello. He sat quietly and listened to Mello angrily storm out of the orphanage. Roger sighed.

"…Roger? What about Onshu?" Near asked calmly.

"I wish I knew, Near. Ever since she left the orphanage, I don't have the slightest idea of where she's gone and how to contact her." The old man sighed.

"…If I run into Onshu in the future, I'll tell her. If she comes back to you first, don't tell her. She needs someone like me, L's heir, to tell her what has happened," said Near and dumps the puzzles over again.

"Be gentle when you do, Near."

"I will…"

2009-The Wammy's House/Wammy's Orphanage-England:

"_I've been away for so long…" _

A figure stood before the orphanage she came from, Wammy's Orphanage. Her long black hair was flowing in the wind along with her long brown and furry vest with cute doll-like figures sewn onto it over her white T-shirt. With long black baggy pants and flat black boots, she picked up her suitcase and walked into the orphanage.

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"I'm looking for Near and Mello…" was the only thing she said to the little girl. She pointed to the office,

"Only he knows," she replied and went to play with some puzzles. The girl walked into the office and took off her black sunglasses to reveal her emerald green eyes.

"It's been a while, Roger…"

* * *

Near was playing with his robots and blocks. A giant robot was destroying the city until he heard a call. He was handed an earpiece,

"Hello? Yeah…I see…very well. Yes, I'll have someone pick her up and bring her here….yes, alright, goodbye," Near took the earpiece off.

"Please, go pick up my old 'friend,' Onshu…" said Near giving a light order.

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Mello stood by the train station building. He took a big bite out of his chocolate bar giving off a big 'crack' sound. Then he saw her. Mello walked up from behind on his old 'friend.'

"Don't move or turn around," he said behind her.

"…Is that you, Mello-Kun?" she asked without turning her head.

"Yes, (crack!), I heard you were going to see Near. What business do you have with him?" Mello asked,

"Nothing really; what business do you have with me?"

"Nothing… (crack!)" Mello would've continued the conversation, but he saw one of Near's men coming towards them,

"I'll give you a warning, Onshu, you will be hearing unfortunate news," said Mello and backed away and disappeared. Onshu realized that the man was sent by Near so she got into the car with him.

* * *

_My name is Onshu. I will not be revealing my real name, mainly because I can't even remember what it was. I've lived in that orphanage for as long as I can remember. I just remembered one thing, and that was 'onshu' or 'love and hate.' I would always play with Near-Kun and Mello-Kun when I was still there and when I was younger. I especially love putting puzzles together with Near. Puzzles are my strong points; but deduction is my worst. That is why, there was one person that I've always looked up to and admired. But I was never good enough for him…_

_One day, I left the orphanage. I left to improve myself. Now that I have, I've returned to where it all started only to find that everyone I was looking for is not there anymore. I didn't want to look for Mello-Kun because that would only cause trouble between us. My only option was Near-Kun because I reached a dead end. Now that got me thinking…have I improved at all since I left?_

Onshu took off the item that covered her eyes and she rubbed her eyes after that long car ride,

"I assume Near-Kun wants this to be kept secret?" she asked and was lead inside. Near stuck out like a sore thumb playing with his toys on the floor,

"Near-Kun, you haven't changed much," said Onshu,

"Neither have you and I don't need to look at you to know that. Take a seat wherever you want and make yourself at home," said Near as a spaceship just crashed into the robot.

Onshu dropped her suitcase and jumped onto a chair near Near and sat cross-legged on it.

"Thank you. Things have changed since I was gone; care to fill me in, Near-Kun?" Onshu asked and puts her elbow on the arms of the chair and then she had her chin lie on her fist.

Near stopped playing and turned around and started playing with his hair and pulled a leg up to his chest,

"I will, but I need to know if you even know what terrible thing has happened a few years ago," said Near in his monotone voice.

"What?" Onshu asked calmly. Before anything else can be said, another call came in…from L.

"This is Near, go ahead," said Near.

"Near, it's L…"

Right after 'this is L' part, Onshu blinked and listened. Sweat began form,

"Yes, of course…very well," Near ended the conversation and turned his attention back to Onshu who looked pretty pale.

"Near-Kun…that wasn't L. That couldn't be, that's not L! Not the L I know!"

"…I see you've improved your intelligence a lot while you were gone. Or is it simply you know L more than any of us? Either way, you're right that this isn't the L you knew. I hate to be the one to break this to you, and I'm sorry to say this to you but…The L you once knew…is dead. He was killed by Kira."

"……"

Onshu dropped out of her sitting position and fell onto her knees on the floor in shock. Her eyes widened and stared at Near hoping he'd say something like 'I'm kidding.'

"No…no that can't be true," Onshu wanted to beg and plead to Near,

"L…Ryuzaki-Kun can't! No he can't be dead! Near-Kun! Tell me it's not true! Tell me L-San's not dead! Near-Kun please!"

Near didn't budge. He only watched as Onshu cried her eyes out.

"He can't do this to me…L-San…WHY?! Why did you do this to me, L-San!? You promised you won't die!" Onshu screamed and cried.

"You said you'd tell me your name…" Onshu whimpered.

* * *

_A lonely little girl of age 6 sat in the corner of the room putting together a 1000 piece puzzle. She finishes it after finally putting in the last piece. She only arrived a couple of days ago, but so far, made no friends. _

"_I heard L-San is here!"_

"_No way really?!" _

"_Yes, only for a bit. He wants to check on his possible successors! But he won't even let any of us see him." _

"…_L?" Onshu repeated. Onshu, now filled with curiosity went around the orphanage to look for this 'L.' But even if she does find this 'L' person, how will she even know it's him or her? She walked and ran around looking anyway. It's got to be someone she hasn't seen before. Her answers came to her when she heard talking in a certain office. She took a peak through the slightly opened door. All she should see was Mr. Roger and that he was speaking to someone but she couldn't see who. _

"_Near and Mello are doing very well. So is Matt."_

"_I see…anyone else?" _

"_Not really, everything is the same. Oh, except for this new girl that just came here a couple of days ago. We don't know what her full abilities are yet, but she proves to be pretty unique and gifted like the others." _

"_Really? Hmm…what's her name?" _

"_She's called Onshu. The poor girl doesn't even remember her real name or her past."_

"_And that is why she is here. Onshu eh? Did she pick that name?"_

"_Hard to say, when I asked her for her name, she replied that she doesn't remember. I asked her if she knew any name that's any way at all similar or familiar to her real name. She said all she remembered was the word 'onshu' and that's what all the other children started calling her."_

"_Onshu…onshu means 'love and hate' in Japanese. That's not just a coincidence either……hey, whoever's listening outside better learn to show some respect because eavesdropping is very rude."_

_Onshu wanted to run away right then but didn't. She slowly pushed the door a little bit more and shyly entered. _

"_I'm sorry…" she replied in a whisper. _

"_So…you must be Onshu." _

_Onshu looked over at the person Roger was talking to the whole time. His dark hair, and his simply plain way of dressing, not to mention his usual way of sitting and eating, made this guy stand out to Onshu. The guy didn't even glance at her; he was too busy eating the strawberry off his cake. _

"_Y-Yes, I am…" _

"_Onshu, shouldn't you be playing with the other kids?" Roger asked. _

"_No…I finished my 1000 piece puzzle though…again," said Onshu. The strawberry was eaten and the rest of the cake was to follow next. He finally tuned to face her but he kept his sitting position in tact. _

"_Hmm…you don't look like a gifted child. I'd say your IQ in this orphanage is only above average compared to the others. But nothing too special…" _

_Onshu pouted,_

"_What's that supposed to mean?!" _

"_I mean…(bite and swallow) You look too…normal."_

"_So what?! You're so rude!" _

"_Hm, yes, you're right. I forgot to introduce myself…" he said and puts down his cake back onto the table with all the other sweets._

"_That's not what I meant!" _

"_Oh? Then I guess you don't need to know who I am-"_

"_No wait! Um…I'm Onshu. May I have the pleasure to know your name?" Onshu asked politely and bowed._

"…_No."_

"_What?!" _

"_Well not my real name at least. Call me…L."_

"_L?"_

"_Yes, you really can't remember a single letter?" L asked and picked up another cake, now a different flavor. _

"_O-Of course I can!" _

"_Alright then, we know each other now. Now what do you want?" L asked and took off the toppings first. Onshu gave another pout,_

"_You're rude!"_

"_No I'm not. I'm just telling the truth. You on the other hand, were eavesdropping. You're the rude one, Onshu-Chan," said L._

"…"

"_Now…why don't you join me I in game of chess now that you're here?" _

_Onshu looked at L. Was she just invited to play?

* * *

_

Onshu's fist hit the floor,

"Near! Tell me everything you know! Everything that's related to L's death and who Kira might be! Tell me every single detail! I'm going to kill Kira if it's the last thing I do!"

Near stared at her for a brief moment,

"Very well…"

"_I will avenge you Ryuzaki-Kun…I will kill Kira for you! I won't let Kira get away with this! I will Ryuzaki-Kun…I will…"

* * *

_

_Onshu: Age 8_

"_L-San!" Onshu was carrying a sketchbook as she ran towards L to catch up with him,_

"_Why didn't you tell me you came back?!" she demanded. _

"_Because you weren't supposed to know," L replied after taking a lollipop out of his mouth. _

"_I'm not? But…I missed you, L-San…" _

"_You did? Even though you lost that chess game with me?" L asked with a light tone of surprise in his voice._

"_Yes! Pleas stay a bit longer…" Onshu begged…cutely begged._

"_Only for a little bit…" said L in his usual monotone voice. _

"_Yay! Let me sketch you, L-San!" said Onshu and grabbed his hand and started pulling him back. L let her drag him as he puts his lollipop back in his mouth.

* * *

_

Onshu walked around, she only remembers going to Japan once but remembers nothing about it. All she remembered was going to Japan once before she lost the rest of her memories and ended up at the orphanage.

"_Alright, I know Near-Kun didn't tell me everything. He, like Mello-Kun, treats this like a game and I've just became a player too so I know for a fact Near-Kun didn't tell me everything like I wanted him too. He left something out. Now it's up to me to find out what it is and kill Kira." _

Onshu continued down the street and looked up at the large screen showing Sakura T.V. and all the Kira supporters in it.

"_My first question is…who is Kira?" _

Onshu continued on her way to find a hotel to stay at. When she finally got a room, she dropped her belongings and jumped on the bed to lie on her back.

"_Let's see…if what Near-Kun has told me is the truth then obviously this death notebook is the source of Kira's powers. So without it, he's powerless. Unless…unless he gives it to someone else to use. So from all the information he's given plus the data he's provided me on paper…" _

Onshu rolled over and reached for the packets of papers on the floor that Near gave her to look over. Like one player helping another but not enough to give this new player an advantage. Onshu briefly looked over the packet but then dropped it on the floor next to her again. She rolled to her side and waited for her tears to form again.

"Ryuzaki-Kun…" she sniffed. She couldn't concentrate. Not after finding out something as terrible as the death of the one person she cared about the most, didn't help her concentrate at all.

"_Why? Why Ryuzaki-Kun? Why…?"

* * *

_

_Onshu: Age 10_

"_L-San?"_

"_Hn?" _

_The two were sitting under a cherry blossom tree playing chess again. L made his move and got another piece from Onshu leaving her only six pieces left while L still has more than half of his left. _

"_What's your real name?" _

"_Not telling," L replied and kept his eye on the chess board, waiting for Onshu's move. While waiting, he reached over to the picnic basket to get out some sweets to eat._

"_Why not?" Onshu asked and moved her rook. _

"_Why should I?" L countered and took her rook with his queen. _

"_Because I want to know…"_

"_I want to know your real name too," said L and waits for Onshu who always seems to take her time. _

"_But I don't remember it…"_

"_A name for a name, sorry," said L after Onshu finally made her move. _

"…" _Onshu looked down at the grass, saddened._

"_Checkmate. Want to play again? I'll walk you through it this time," said L not noticing how upset Onshu is. _

"_We've been playing chess the whole afternoon," said Onshu,_

"_I'll just play by myself then," said L and started putting the pieces back together. Onshu watches him,_

"_Will I ever know your real name?" she asked just as L finishes putting the pieces back on the board._

"…_If you want to know that bad, then I'll give you a chance. If you can tie with me at something, such as chess, I'll tell you my name. But every time you lose, you have to treat me to sweets. Don't even think once that you can beat me at something. You'd be 80 by the time you even come close to beating me at chess," said L pointing his new lollipop at her._

"_Okay! Deal! But I can only afford those common candy, is that okay? And what do you mean I'd be 80?! You're so mean!"_

"_I told you, I'm not mean, I'm just telling the truth…"_

_L puts the candy back in his mouth. That offer brightened her day at least, now she had a chance to find out L-San's real name!_

"_So, if I want your name, you need your memories back, right? Maybe I should try scaring you every time I come over or something," said L and watches Onshu finish her move. Onshu ignored that comment. _

"_L-San…" _

"_Yes?" _

"_Never mind…" _

_L only shrugged as he made his move and then waited on Onshu, _

"_It's your turn, Onshu-Chan," said L. _

"_Huh? Oh! S-Sorry!" Onshu stuttered and looked at the playing field in front of her. _

"_Is something the matter, Onshu-Chan?" L asked, a bit concerned. _

"_It's just that…is it wrong for us to be, well, you know…see each other like this?" Onshu asked and L tilted his head. _

"_Why not?" he asked. _

"_Because! Because…you're older than me," said Onshu in a sad voice and avoided L's gaze. _

"_So?" L asked, "Other children here are older than you." _

"_But I don't care about the other children because they're not my friends! You're the only friend I have and you're…what? 10 years older than me?!" Onshu exclaimed. Onshu covered her mouth after she realized she just yelled at an 'elder.' L didn't seem fazed by it though. _

"…_I'm you're friend?" L asked. _

"_O-Of course you are!" _

"…_Thank you. I feel special now, Onshu-Chan." _

"_L-San…" Onshu said in a whisper. Did L even have any friends? Does he get lonely? Does he have anyone to talk to when he's troubled? Who does he spend time with? Who does he play with? Himself? Well that does explain why he plays chess against himself at times. _

"_Okay L-San! Lets play again and I'm not planning on losing again" _

_A small curve was seen across L's lips. _

"_We'll see about that. And by the way, moving that knight won't do you any good," L pointed out. _

"_Damn it!" _

"_What a potty mouth for a little girl." _

"_I do not have a potty mouth!"

* * *

_

"_How will I know your real name now? I can't play chess with you if you're dead, baka!" _Onshu scolded in her head. She sat up on the bed and wiped her wet and dry tears away.

"L-San…if I kill Kira, will you tell me your name?"

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**Notes: **

**-Onshu's a young adult/older teenager, like Near and Mello. **

**-The name Onshu: I wanted to follow the pattern of K, L, M, N. Kira, L, Mello, and Near. So I used O. Onshu was actually my OC's name for my Yu-Gi-Oh! or Yu-Gi-Oh! GX story if I ever make one. But Onshu was the first word I thought of that had some meaning behind it for the story. I believe it's a Japanese word meaning "Love and hate."**

**-Onshu's Chinese and has a Japanese word for a name and has green eyes, I know, it's odd. But that's how it is okay? **

**-From what I've seen, L looks a lot younger than he really is. L is much older than Onshu so that's why his personality is remained the same. Note that I won't reveal his real age or name to anyone. Especially for those that hate spoilers, but mainly because I know true and hard-core L fans can easily find out. **

**-Baka: Japanese for stupid/idiot/fool**

**Please R and R! Thank you!**


	2. L, PLeast Say I'm Cute

**Hey! Thanks for the reviews everyone! I only expected one! I hope you enjoy this chapter! And I hope to see some reviewers again!**

**I also fixed up this chapter because when I looked at it again, I noticed some sentences didn't even show up!**

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"_Aaah! That girl's crazy!" _

_Onshu was running after three boys around her age and was running after then with a long stick. She finally got one of them and started beating him with it. _

"_How dare you! You jerks!" Onshu cried while continuing to beat up the one boy she was able to stop and hit. _

"_There! There!" The other two came back with Roger._

"_How dare you throw my stuff into the river?! How dare you?!" Onshu shrieked. She didn't even notice that the boy was only starting to bleed a bit. The stick stopped in midair and then yanked out of her hands. _

"_Hey!" Onshu snapped and turned around to get the stick back but stopped when she saw L's angry glare. Roger and the two boys helped the one that Onshu nearly beat to death while L threw the stick aside. L and Onshu stood there in silence while the others walked away for medical help. Onshu, afraid to look away yet afraid to keep staring into L's eyes; L, angered and disappointed in Onshu. _

"_I came back to see if you've improved. Only I find you nearly killing a poor boy!" L snapped and Onshu flinched and finally averted his gaze. _

"_What possible reason could drive you to do something like that?!" _

_Onshu stared at the ground, afraid to look up. She never saw him angry before and the scariest part was that he was angry at her! _

"_Onshu!" _

_Onshu didn't move. He didn't even add 'Chan' after her name. _

"_Onshu!" L repeated, still in his angry voice. Onshu didn't move, she was too afraid. She did the only thing a kid does when they're scared: she started to cry. _

_She thought cried for a good hour but in reality it was less than five minutes. But she didn't want to stop; crying seemed to be a good excuse for L not to yell at her._

_L knelt down to her height and puts a hand on her head and she lightly flinched._

"…_Tell me why you did it, Onshu-Chan," said L in a gentler tone. L waited patiently for Onshu to calm down even though Onshu didn't want to calm down. She just learned that she doesn't like it when L's mad, especially at her._

"_I…I…he-him…he th-threw-" Onshu couldn't talk and she was still sniffing and hiccupping. She only pointed to the direction where the stream was located. L's eyes drifted to the direction she was pointing and he stood back up and went in that direction. _

_Onshu remained standing there, waiting for L to come back. After a good wait and L didn't return, she slowly went after him. She calmed down a bit after L left her presence but was still a bit shaky as she walked. She peeked from behind a tree and was surprised at what she saw. On the grass was some of her stuff! A doll, a couple of her sketchbooks, her toys such as blocks; they were all there getting dry in the sun. L was in the water, digging for things he might've missed. He pulled out a very wet smaller sketchbook and gently placed it on the grass. _

_Onshu stayed hidden, watching L. Before she knew it, L got everything out of the water. But he was still searching, just in case he missed something tiny such as the flower pin he found a while ago. _

"_L-San!" Onshu called and made her way to her belongings and L._

"_Onshu-Chan, did I find everything?" L asked and got out of the water. _

"_Um…" Onshu was afraid to say the wrong thing, "Y-You don't have to look for my belongings for me, L-San…" _

"_You missed my question: Did I find everything?" L asked again._

"_Yes…" Onshu replied without looking at her stuff. She didn't want L doing favors for her, it only makes her look like a troublesome brat. _

"_Good. Now…" L sat down in front of her and gently tugged Onshu for her to sit down as well, "Now tell me what happened. I promise I'll listen..." said L and waited for Onshu's reply. _

"_I…"_

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Onshu's eyes snapped open,

"Ryuzaki-Kun?"

Onshu sighed, it felt like it was only yesterday when she was just a little girl playing alone and getting bullied and then getting scolded by Ryuzaki.

"_Hm…say, when did I meet Near-Kun and Mello-Kun?" _Onshu thought and took a glance at the clock.

"What the-?! Dang it! It's 11?!"

Onshu groaned and slowly got out of bed to get ready for the day.

"_I would always wake up early in case Ryuzaki came by for the day. Even though he only comes once, twice, or even zero times a year. I still got up anyway, just in case…"_

Onshu quickly got ready for the day and went out to get some breakfast while thinking. She found a bakery store and went in to see what she'd like.

"_Cream…" _she thought while looking at what was between the breads. _"Good, love these!" _

Onshu smiled and got some of her favorite kinds of breads. Then a bright red strawberry caught her eyes. Her face dropped the smile as she stared at a piece of a cake with white cream and strawberry toppings with a little chocolate decorated on it.

"_Ryuzaki-Kun…"_

Onshu was really tempted to buy that piece of cake because of the non-believer side of her telling her that Ryuzaki was still alive.

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Onshu sat at a café she found eating the piece of cake she bought, strawberry first.

"_It's so sweet…no wonder Ryuzaki-Kun likes fruits on cakes."_

As she ate, she was looking through the papers that Near gave her.

"_Notebook…shinigami…A second Kira? Misa Amane was confined believing she was the second Kira. Light Yagami was also confined. They were both set free? Would Ryuzaki-Kun really do that if he was so sure it was them? Unless everyone else he was working with was against it. Was it even Ryuzaki-Kun's idea to confine Misa? Of course it was! Only he could get down to the last bit of information to figure out who would possibly be the second Kira. Let's see……so they were tested to see once and for all if they were really Kira or not. But there's no point in that now because neither of them had the notebook at the time…" _

Onshu groaned in frustration. How was this supposed to help her figure out who Kira is?!

"_If Light is Kira, then why the heck is he working with the task force? Why not just kill them all? Oh wait, then everyone would know he's Kira and Kira doesn't rule the world yet. Then who's the fake L? Wait a minute……Ryuzaki-Kun suspected Light to be Kira in the first place. That's my first reason to why I think Light is Kira. Not only that, I saw his exams scores. He scored a perfect like Ryuzaki-Kun. They're equally intelligent. If the police were smart, they would put someone that can think as well as Ryuzaki-Kun. Then they would have to use Light as that fake L! That has to be it! But then…Kira is L? That also explains why the police aren't getting any closer to bringing down Kira."_

Onshu finished her cake and threw out the paper plate. She packed her stuff and headed for the nearest phone booth.

"Come on, pick up!"

Onshu waited impatiently for Near to get on the other line.

"Near here, what is it?" 

"Tell me the truth, Near-Kun. Is the new L also Kira?"

"Correct."

"Is he…Light Yagami?"

"Also correct. Not bad, Onshu-Chan. You figured it out quicker than I thought. But you only called to make sure. You weren't even positive that you were right."

"I hate it when you're right about me like that. But I want to know one thing: If you knew who Kira was this whole time, why haven't you gone in for the kill?" Onshu asked and firmly grips the phone.

"Because I can't. We have no evidence. And besides, I want to beat him and rub it in his face. So I don't want you going to him. I know you're very tempted to do that but if you do, I will stop you, understand? Now listen, I'm going to meet Kira soon. You may join me if you wish. But you will not lay a finger on him until then. It will cause a lot of trouble if you do."

Onshu sighed and stared at the floor,

"I understand…"

"Good, I'll keep you informed. Keep your phone on."

With that, the conversation ended. Onshu sighed again.

"DAMMIT!" she shouted and kicked the inside of the booth.

"I WANT HIM DEAD!" she shouted.

"_It's not fair! And he expects me to hold me anger in until he meets with Kira?! He's got to be kidding! I WANT LIGHT YAGAMI KILLED AND BURNED IN HELL!!!" _

After calming down, she took in some deep breaths and leaned against the wall of the booth.

"_You'd scold me for saying the 'H' word wouldn't you, Ryuzaki-Kun? Saying I have a foul mouth?" _

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"_Don't say that word," said L and whacked Onshu on the head with a rolled up magazine. _

"_Why?!" Onshu pouted as L walked by her and jumped into an armchair to read the magazine. _

"_You're too little," L replied. _

"_I'm almost a teenager!" _

"_By a couple of years and 'almost' being the key word."_

"_L-San!" Onshu whined but she kept forgetting that pouting, crying, whining, and acting cute doesn't work on L. Onshu tapped L's arm, asking permission to sit between his legs and read with him. L lifted his arms up to let her. _

"_What are you looking at, L-San?" _

"_Stuff…" he said with a piece of candy in his mouth. _

"_It's all in Japanese…" said Onshu and tilts her head in confusion,_

"_Yes…hm, Misa Misa is getting more popular," said L as he sucks his candy._

"_Who's Misa Misa? That girl in the picture?" Onshu asked pointing._

"_Yes…She is kind of cute. No wonder she's getting popular," said L and reaches over to the side table to grab any sweets he can get his hands on without looking. Onshu flinched after hearing what L just said pass through her head a few more times. _

"_Wh-What? She can't be that cute!" Onshu protested, almost sounded very angry. _

"_Cuter than most people I see and that's saying something."_

"_But L-San!" _

"_What?"_

"…_Never mind…" Onshu slid under his arms and off the chair, and walked away._

"_???" L watched Onshu walk away,_

"_Where are you going?"_

"_To get something to eat…" she replied in firm voice._

"_Can you bring me back some cake if there are any?" _

"_Yes, L-San…" said Onshu and walks out the door. _

_Onshu later came back with a tray of tea and three plates of cake. One for herself and two for L. Onshu frowned when she saw L was still looking at that Japanese magazine._

"_How could he get that when we're not even in Japan?" she mumbled in jealousy. Onshu crossed her arms and sat on the floor. She reached for her sketchbook and started sketching._

_An hour later:_

_L was finishing his last bit of sweets as he watches the news. He would glance at Onshu every now and then to see what she was doing but her head never lifted up from the sketchbook since she started working on whatever she was working on. After L finished, he popped a gum in his mouth to chew on and got up from his seat and leaned above Onshu. He blinked a couple of times to make sure he saw what he saw. _

_It was a chibi picture of what looked liked Onshu stabbing some poor girl to death._

"_Onshu-Chan…have you been watching R-rated movies?" Ryuzaki asked. Onshu turned to look at him,_

"_NO!" she replied angrily and added more blood. _

"_Then why are you killing someone? Your pictures are usually cute…not gross," L reminded._

"_Hn!" This time, Onshu started stabbing the girl with her pencil. _

"…" _L watched to see how long will it take for her to stop._

"_Is something bothering you, Onshu-Chan?" _

"_Nothing is bothering me! I'm perfectly fine!" Onshu replied and stabbed her book harder. _

"…" _L waited until Onshu got tired. _

"_Now will you tell me what's wrong? Oh by the way, I ate your cake since you didn't touch it" said L when Onshu stopped stabbing her poor book to death. _

"_Hey! I wanted it! Hn! But who cares? Stupid magazine…" Onshu mumbled and ripped out her art. _

"_Are you mad at me, Onshu-Chan?" L asked and blew a bubble with his gum. _

"…_How come you never call me cute?" Onshu asked,_

"…_Because you're not?" _

"_What!?" _

"_You are 'child cute' but you're not the kind of cute that most people say when they see a girl," L explained._

"_So, what do I have to do to be cute?" Onshu asked,_

"_You will be, one day. When you get older," said L._

"_Not fair…" Onshu moaned and pulled her legs up to her chest. _

"_Why would you want me to call you cute? Did you want my opinion on how you look?" L asked and moved his position so he crouched down in front of her._

"_No…"_

"_Then what?"_

"_It's nothing L-San…" _

"…_We've known each other for a long time, Onshu-Chan. Why don't you call me Ryuzaki-Kun from now on?" _

"_Really? Is that you're real name?!" Onshu asked, now more excited than upset._

"_Of course not," Ryuzaki replied and blew another bubble._

"_Oh…but thanks for letting me call you another name other than 'L'! Ryuzaki-Kun!" _

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The door slammed shut. Onshu hits her forehead on the door before locking it and staying there.

"I feel like I was a brat when I was little…" she said out loud. Onshu sighed and walked over to her bed. She dropped her belongings and fell on the bed.

"_It's not fair! I can easily find out where Light lives and where his whereabouts would be, but I'm forbidden to kill him because of those boys' stupid game! I refuse to believe he outsmarted Ryuzaki-Kun! It's not fair…It's not fair to Ryuzaki-Kun…" _

A tear slipped down Onshu's face.

"Ryuzaki-Kun…my mind can't deny the fact that you're really gone. But my heart does…" She sniffed and rubbed her eyes.

"_Will I dream of you again tonight, Ryuzaki-Kun? I'll cry myself to sleep…"_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Near added another figure to the already made ones. The new figure was none other than Onshu. Near picked it up again and writes her name on the little toy and sets it back down next to the one that says 'L.' Near studied his little figures and placed in different positions to get a visual idea the situation at hand.

"_If Onshu can't control herself, it will ruin us all. I might have to ask Mello to watch over her just to be safe. It's almost time, Kira, and I'm going win!"_

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**L strikes me as an intelligent person, yes. But I can't help but get this feeling that he lacks very common sense. What I mean is… love is a good example, he probably can't realize the obvious things in love. He uses logic and realistic possibilities. But I can't help but make him oblivious to a little girl's feelings. My father did say that a child's mind doesn't think or work the same way as adults or teenagers. Therefore, it would actually make sense that L didn't know what was wrong with Onshu and what she was upset about. **

**I can just imagine: L's blank face trying to figure out what's wrong with a little girl. Kind of funny now that I think about. **

**Oh! And I just have to say this:**

**I have a picture of L from the movie as my wallpaper on my computer. My mom was going to use my computer for something and L scared her(according to my mom that is, I wasn't there) b/c he was staring right at her with those eyes of his and his pale skin. **

**I thought it was funny. My dad did say he looked like a ghost when he saw a bit of the movie. Just for the record, no, my parents have no interest in anime or manga. Just good movies that's not 'cartoon' or 'computer animated.' Deathnote was highly recommended and my mom just finished the second movie. My dad's on a business trip so he won't be seeing it for a while. The only reason they're remotely interested is because they've been told it's good and it's a live movie. **

**Oh yes, also, this might be one of my shorter stories. If this was in the manga I'd say Onshu joined the story in v. 11, somewhere. So if you guys already know the whole the whole story then you know, she's not far away from the end of the **_**Death Note**_**. I hope you guys aren't bothered reading italicized words all the time since most of the stories are flashbacks. But if it does bother you, I can change it; just let me know. I also hope I'm not boring everyone with the flashbacks…**

**I'm not good at fight scenes (I'm terrible at it), but I am good with action (I don't know how that works…) and I promise you action will be coming up. Let's just hope that I can make the action good. **

**Please R and R! Thank you!**


	3. Confrontation

**Omg I swear to god I did not mean to let this thing go un-updated for so long! And I don't think it was worth the wait to be honest. Apologize to anyone out there that expected something great out of this!**

* * *

"One of the perpetrators was carrying several firearms, and threatened to fire at Lady Takada's bodyguards; but the man was shot to death before he could harm anyone…"

Onshu spat out her drink when she saw the news that morning on T.V. in her hotel room. She nearly slammed her cup down and got even closer to the T.V.

"No…Matt-Kun!" Onshu cried when she saw the body lying next to the car.

"Matt…not you too, dammit!"

She had no doubt in her mind that it was Matt lying there, dead.

"_Takada is Kira's spokesperson…and Matt-Kun is just killed. The person that kidnapped Takada must be Mello-Kun. Near-Kun would've informed me of something like this. And it couldn't be Near-Kun's doing, he's too withdrawn to do something so rash like Mello-Kun would. It's got his name written all over it." _

At that moment her cell phone rang by the side table drawer next to her bed.

"Hello?"

"It's Near."

"Yes, Near-Kun?"

"You must've seen the news by this point. Mello is being such a nuisance. Onshu, I wanted to ask you earlier but I thought you would be in the way but after what just happened, I might make an exception. I'm going to be meeting Kira…face to face…"

Onshu paid extra attention after hearing that.

"Really...?"

"Yes, I will give you the details later. But only if you wish to come along…"

"You know my answer, Near-Kun…"

"As I thought. I'll call you back later. I have to find Mello at the moment."

Onshu threw her phone on the bed after the two hung up.

"_Mello-Kun…you're going to get yourself killed this way! Why are you always so…arg! I'm so frustrated I can't even think of the right word!" _

Onshu walked over to the window and took a good look outside.

"_Everything started and ended…because of Kira. If I had known any of this was going to happen, I'd most likely never have let go of Ryuzaki-Kun's leg…"_

* * *

"_I'm going to be gone for a long time…"_

"_How long?" Onshu asked as the two played chess outside, under a tree. _

"_Not sure. But if you pay more attention to the news, you might know that many people around the world are dying…" said Ryuzaki moving his queen._

"_I heard…but they're all criminals. So I didn't really care much for it," Onshu admitted._

"_No one can figure out what's going on so I'm really interested in this case. To be able to kill people around the world…it's very interesting."_

"_But…do you have to get involved in this?" Onshu asked,_

"_I already have a pretty good idea where this killer is. And the police there might already be tempted to call me for help on this case. While I'm gone, I want you to be a good girl and behave. I'll be back, I promise," said Ryuzaki, waiting for Onshu to make her move. _

"_But what if you get killed?!" _

"_I won't…I'll be careful."_

"_You're lying! I can tell when you lie!"_

"…_I can't guarantee I'll live through this. But I have a high percentage of that. Everyday you live, you can't be 100 percent sure that you'll live through that day. Remember that, Onshu. You're 12 now, right? Or at least around that? You're growing up. So be good, I know how much you can get into trouble."_

"_I don't get into trouble…I just run into them a lot!" _

_As the day went by, Onshu got more and more tempted to protest L from going; there's a chance, no, a higher chance that she'll never see him again. _

_L was about ready to leave but as soon as he stepped foot outside the orphanage, he felt a huge weight on his leg. _

"_Onshu…? What are you doing?" he asked in his monotone voice. _

"_Don't go! Please!" Onshu begged, holding on as if for dear life. _

"_You know I have to," said L. _

"_It's not fair!" Onshu cried and held onto him even tighter. Even L could see she was about to cry._

"_Let go, Onshu. You don't need to cry. You're not a little girl anymore."_

"_I don't care! I'll always be little to you anyway! Please don't go! What if you get killed?! I don't want you to go…"_

_L pivoted and knelt down on one knee. _

"_I'm sorry. But I have to go," said L and placed a hand on her head. Onshu started to cry, tears falling._

"_Why? Why Ryuzaki-Kun? I don't want to be left alone…" _

"…_Onshu, please understand. I shouldn't be the one that keeps you company for your whole life. There are other people out there in the world. Don't act like this!"_

_Onshu wouldn't budge, she felt hurt about what he said. L tried to gently remove her grip, but it was most like removing a nail from wood by hand. _

"_Onshu…" His voice was firm, letting her know he's being serious. _

_Onshu knew that L's patience can only be so long. As she continued to sob, she slowly loosens her grip. _

"_Come on, Onshu, stand up," said L as he stood up and helped her up along the way, "No more crying."_

_Onshu tried her best to stop, only to stop at the hiccupping stage. _

"_Ryuzaki-Kun…" _

"…_Goodbye, Onshu."_

_L stood back up and started to walk away. _

"…_Ryuzaki-Kun…wait please!" Onshu ran up to him and let it all out, _

"…_I love you, Ryuzaki-Kun!" _

"…_I'm too old for you."_

"_I don't care even if you were three times my age or more!" _

"…"

"_I love you…I love you! Please don't go!" Onshu begged. Ryuzaki bent down to her height and placed a hand on her head. _

"_I promise you, I'll come back," Ryuzaki smiled, which was a change to his usual expression, "I'll come back, and then I'll tell you my name and how I feel." _

_Onshu's eyes opened and she calmed down when she felt Ryuzaki plant a small kiss on her forehead._

"_Thank you…" The two said in unison to each other._

* * *

Onshu's phone was ringing again and snapped her out of her trance.

"Hello?"

"You're in Onshu. We're going to meet Kira. 1 p.m. on the 28th."

"…Can't wait…"

"_Kira…I will have my revenge!"_

Onshu took another round around Japan; she needed to know her surroundings. She also wanted to make a quick stop somewhere.

"_So, this is Light Yagami's home…" _Onshu thought staring up at Light's house.

"Um, excuse me, what are you doing?"

Onshu turned around to see a young woman in a wheelchair by herself.

"Oh I'm sorry, I was just looking. I recently arrived in Japan and was just touring the place," Onshu replied with a smile.

"Oh! Welcome to Japan, my name's Sayu! You were staring at my home and I thought you were some robber!"

"Oh I'm sorry; I didn't mean to make anyone uncomfortable. I'll see you around then!" said Onshu and started walking away,

"Oh, okay, but be careful. With Kira on the loose, it's dangerous!" Sayu warned, but Onshu could see how this Sayu seemed almost frightened. Even though she's trying to sound cheerful.

"I will!" Onshu replied and continues on her way.

"_She seems like such a sweet person. Too bad she's related to Kira…wait a minute!"_

"Wait, you're not a Kira supporter?" Onshu asked suddenly turning around,

"Oh! Um, p-please don't hurt me if you're for Kira…"

"Oh! No! I was just surprised! I'm actually against Kira too!" Onshu quickly explained.

"Oh really? That's good!" Sayu sighed in relief, "You can really get in trouble for being against Kira."

"Really? Is everyone really becoming Kira supporters?" Onshu asked more interested.

"I guess they are…and my dad…he-"

"Sayu! What are you doing?"

"Huh? Oh! Nii-San!" Sayu exclaimed happily and Onshu's heart started to beat faster.

"_Her big brother?! Light Yagami?!" _Onshu thought as she stared at Kira himself walking up to Sayu and talking to her.

"_No way! It can't be! I'm standing no more than 10 feet from the man that killed…him…" _

L's face flashed into her mind and she started to sweat. So close…yet so far!

"Excuse me, who are you?" Light asked snapping Onshu out of her thoughts.

"O-Oh! I'm Onshu…just call me Onshu," she replied as casual as possible.

"I see…I'm Light Yagami; I'm Sayu's older brother. May I ask what you're doing here?" Light asked, acting protective of his sister.

"I was just looking around…um, I recently arrived here in Japan," Onshu briefly explained.

"I see, well welcome. If there's something I can help you with, don't hesitate to ask," said Light with a nice smile. Onshu raised a brow at his good acting.

"_He doesn't act a thing as I expected him to!" _

"Where are you from, Miss Onshu?" Light asked,

"Oh…Well…I move around a lot. But I came from America," Onshu answered.

"_Could she possibly be working with Mello?" _Light thought to himself after hearing she was from America. Not to mention recently arrived in Japan!

"_This is too suspicious. I need to keep an eye on her…"_

The two seemed almost lost their own world; a feeling of hate and anger rising inside Onshu as she stared into the murderer's eyes. A familiar but gentler, less of a threat, feeling was rising inside Light. She reminded him of L, Near, and Mello but doesn't seemed to be as much as a threat as them. Yet at the same time…

"_If she is connected to them…I can't keep her alive for very long. How am I supposed to do this without anyone thinking I'm Kira? And those eyes……they're eyes aimed to kill…"_

"Do you wish to come inside?" Sayu offered,

"Huh? Oh! No thanks! I don't want to trouble you! Thank you so much for the offer though!" Onshu bowed politely and turned around to walk away.

"_If I stay any longer, I may risk getting killed. Yet…I don't even know my own real name. There's no way he can unless he has the eyes…"_

"Hold on."

Onshu turned to her head when Light called for her.

"Sayu, Mother should be inside, I have to go now," said Light and started pushing her chair into the house.

"Okay Nii-San, be careful."

"_I should make a break for it but…then he might know that I know he's Kira! Great, I hate playing it cool. Definitely not a strong point…" _Onshu thought as she waited for Light.

"So…" Onshu snapped back from her thought upon hearing Light's voice, "You just came from America? Don't you know how dangerous it is here with Kira residing here?"

"…Yes, I do know. But you see, since Kira is going to rule the world at the rate this is going, and I've always been a good person, I have nothing to fear," Onshu replied.

"Sayu said you were against Kira. Saying that can get you killed," Light reminded, "Are you sure you're safe?"

"I'll just be more careful. I'm just lucky that I ran into your sister to tell me that before I start mouthing that off!"

"I see…well then do be careful," said Light, not wanting to push his luck with questions.

"Yes, thank you…" Onshu bowed politely before leaving.

"_She's definitely in on this…I have to find out her real name and kill her…"_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Onshu sighed to herself in relief after she turned the block.

"_That was cutting it close…so far, the only thing protecting me is my unknown name. But if Kira can find out what it is…I'm done for."_

Onshu looked up at the sky and thought of L.

"_But I can't die…I'll live until I see the death of Kira!"_

January 28th, 2010:

"I'm sorry that this is last minute, but there's an old acquaintance I wish to bring along to our meeting. Is that too much to ask?" Near asked after announcing he has released Misa. The task force quickly went into discussion.

"_Old acquaintance? I see…so she really is involved in this. I guess she will die along with Near. Works for me either way…" _Light thought as he gives his point of view on that request without sounding suspicious.

"Exactly why is your acquaintance coming, Near?"

"Let's just say that because this is the final battle, she'll live or die along with me."

"Wait it's a girl?! We can't have an innocent girl invo-" Matsuda was cut off.

"She wishes to come. I just felt sorry so I agreed to let her come. She knows the seriousness of our meeting as well as the dangers."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Onshu waited in the car; as she's already been picked up, eagerly waiting for a call from Near…

"You're in…"

Upon hearing those words, Onshu felt the urge to jump for joy, but remembered the seriousness of what she's getting into.

Warehouse:

"I am Onshu, I grew up with Near," Onshu bowed politely for the SPK, showing she meant no harm for any of them (besides Light).

Light blinked in fake surprise for Onshu but neither of the two mentioned their meeting before this.

Onshu's heart was thumping, faster and faster, with each passing second.

"_I can't believe this…again I'm probably less than 10 feet away from Ryuzaki-Kun's murderer…and Near-Kun won't let me do anything! But if I did anything before Near-Kun gets proof then I'll only end up ruining myself and his investigation…"_

Onshu remained silent as Near explains how he will expose Kira. Only giving Near a glance, Onshu went back to glaring at Light.

"_But now that I'm given this opportunity…and after all those times when I said I'll have my revenge on him…should I do it? Ryuzaki-kun won't be pleased but…no! I can't chicken out now! But if I do kill him…I'll be just as bad as him! I don't know what's worse…living in a life without Ryuzaki-Kun or living in hell with Kira." _Onshu lightly smirked to herself as her fists gripped tighter to control herself, _"No…living life without Ryuzaki-Kun is far worse than living in hell with Kira…"_

More than 30 minutes later:

Onshu's eyes narrowed at the slightly opened door, her heartbeat picking up again.

"_I can't believe I just realized this…the notebook will contain the names of everyone but Kira. Does that mean…I'll finally know my real name?"_

All Onshu's focused on was Kira's death but with the situation that Near created, Onshu just finally realized that she may finally learn her name. Before she never thought of it as important, as that she's forgotten it and never remembered and never thought she would. At the same time, she never thought she's find out either.

Someone's name is their identity, without it, they're no one. Onshu lives by the name meaning 'love and hate.' Onshu never complained, already acknowledging her useless existence with no identity. She lived by her name better than she thought. She fell in love with L. She then hated Kira: Two opposing sides of her name. Two sides she has to choose. Choose L, who she loves, and stay on the justice side. Or choose Kira, who she hates, and seek vengeance.

40 seconds…

"I win, Near."


	4. End

**So I thought I should finish this before the New Year rolls around haha! So Happy New Years!**

* * *

What Onshu never understood is how someone that brings 'perfect justice,' has to get away with true justice. Light Yagami being the perfect example: To bring justice, he commits murder. So what is justice?

No one dies. Mikami was quickly apprehended.

As Near held the notebook, Onshu was tempted to snatch it and just find her name. But she waited, which is apparently the one thing she's best at.

------------------

"_What are you doing, Onshu? I thought you said you'll lend me that new game after you were done," a young Matt arrived next to Onshu who sat by the window playing a handheld game._

"_Oh yeah," Onshu reached into a small bag next to her and handed a game to him._

"_Thanks, but I thought you said we were supposed to meet by the dinner table."_

"_I'm sorry, I forgot. I told myself I'll sit here every day until I get out of here," Onshu announced and Matt tilted his head slightly in confusion as well as showing he's paying attention while he places the new game in and immediately starts playing._

"_Why?"_

"…_Just waiting."_

------------------

Light's scream snapped Onshu out of her thought and she sees the once powerful Kira, backed up in a corner like a mouse finally hunted down by a cat: Near. If only the people who admire him could see him now and who he really is.

------------------

"_Onshu I really hope you remember your real name," L stated one day and took the rest of Onshu's checker pieces, winning the game. _

"_Mm…does it matter?"_

"_Of course. You want to know my real name right? That indicates you want to know me, the true me. So…I want to know the true you."_

_Onshu felt touched. This was probably the day Onshu started having those unfamiliar feelings for him. _

"_Light Yagami…his name is so ironic. Being Kira and all…"_ Onshu thought, having mixed emotions as she watches Near pound Light with information on how he thought one step ahead of him. Speaking of Near, Onshu's eyes drifted to young genius again.

"_Why did he bring me here…does he really trust me enough that I won't do anything? I admit, I'm not as smart as him but…is he trying to show me something? Teach me something? What are you trying to do for me, Near-Kun?"_

------------------

Onshu's eyes quickly went back to Light when Light started to maniacally laugh,

"That's right. I am Kira."

Onshu reached a hand into her large vest pockets and took a step forward but Near quickly raised an arm and Onshu froze in her spot.

"_Near-Kun…" _Onshu didn't know how long she had to wait.

"_Something's not right…it's too dangerous to approach him now, I'm sorry Onshu," _Near thought as he carefully eyes Light as he started walking. As soon as Light suggested testing the notebook, Onshu had the urge to volunteer but Near beat her to the thought.

"Do you want to be, the 4th Kira, Onshu?" Near asked before Onshu even said her thoughts out loud. Near's attention went back to Light.

"…_Of course. Near-Kun never wanted me to touch the Death Note, knowing I'll be beyond tempted to use it. He always seems to know what I'm thinking, even before I realize I'm thinking it. He knows me more than I know myself…but that's Near-Kun for you…"_

Onshu eyes Light the same as Near,

"_Something just doesn't seem right…" _

Almost all at once, everyone went into a short state of shock,

"He's got a note hidden on him!"

Onshu pulled out her gun to shoot but stopped as Matsuda beat her to him. She instead quickly aimed at the fallen pen and shot it, destroying any chance of it being used again.

She slowly turned her head to look at the distraught Matsuda.

"_He put so much faith and belief in Light…only to have it all come crashing down on him in less than 2 minutes. Almost just like me…" _She couldn't help but feel for Matsuda. It hurts to feel betrayed and it hurts to lose everything you believe in. The memory of L flooded her mind even more, almost to the point of crying. The feeling plus fear was going to overwhelm her as Matsuda shot Light a few more times to stop Light from finishing Near's name. She looked away, not because of the sight of blood or Light's wounds but because she was witnessing someone going through emotional pain…

She was shaken from her thoughts one more time when Mikami let out a scream and stabbed himself with his pen. In a split second, Light got up and ran.

BANG!  
Barely missing him, Light stopped in his tracks. He regained his balance and was about to make another run for it before Onshu physically shoved him to the ground with her on top.

"You put so many innocent people through unnecessary pain and suffering…" Onshu cried as she held the gun to his head, "You hurt your father, as soon as you die you'll hurt the rest of your family. You hurt the SPK, and anyone that actually cared about you! You even hurt people you never new…"

Near made a movement to go into a stand but changed his mind and repositioned himself in a different sitting position.

"Get off you me! You psycho! You! You! RYUK!"

"So pitiful…How did Ryuzaki-Kun lose to you…" tears fell as Onshu said his name.

"Ryuzaki?! L?!"

"I love Ryuzaki-Kun…" Onshu announced in a monotone voice and her gun clicked.

"Onshu!" Near exclaimed as Onshu pulled the trigger.

She continued to cry…as she stared at the hole in the ground where she shot next to Light's head.

"Everything I've experienced here in Japan…is like reliving my life at that orphanage…"

Onshu slowly got off Light, as the SPK quickly apprehended him much to Light's useless protesting. She calmly walked towards, Near, every step she takes she gives off a sad atmosphere.

"Near-Kun…you don't need to show me the notebook."

"Hm? You don't wish to see your name?"

Onshu slowly shook her head,

"No…the day I learn my name, I wanted it to be with the man I love. But that's not possible anymore. So I don't wish to know my name…"

"That's too bad…it's a really pretty name."

Onshu smiled, half faked,

"Thanks Near-Kun…"

"…Where will you go now, Onshu? Are you satisfied with what you've done?"

"Not really satisfied at all to be honest. But…I want to be with Ryuzaki when I die. As for where I go, I'm not even sure…"

"…What if I told you there's no heaven or hell?"

"Oh well, I can still believe until the day I die…"

"…When will that be?"

"I honestly don't know…"

* * *

On request a day after, Onshu made a quick tap on the notebook so she can see the shinigami and talk to him. She learned where Light's fate might be, as a user of the Death Note who Ryuk killed while they were still at the Warehouse.

"Why do you ask?" Ryuk asked with a chuckle.

"…Well…I was hoping I can join Ryuzaki-Kun. By my own hands…" Onshu confessed,

"Ooh, that's the first time I've heard of anyone putting their own name in the Death Note!"

"I didn't want to burden anyone else. And I don't think anyone else would do it anyway. They don't want to sink as low as Kira. I don't want to either…"  
Ryuk chuckled harder and then laughed.

"You humans are so entertaining. You're the first person that I've heard of that wants to write their own name in the Death Note. But you don't want to do it yourself because you believe in heaven and hell and don't want to go to nothingness…"

"…Would you do it, Mr. Shinigami? You can get my remaining life span."

"Ah…I guess that's true. But where's the fun in me just writing your-"

"Would you do it for an apple?" Onshu asked taking an apple out of her big pockets.

"OOOH APPLE!" Ryuk immediately snatched it and chewed it until it was gone in less than 5 seconds.

"…_wow, I didn't think it was actually true."_ Onshu thought in slight amusement.

* * *

Near was disposing his little figures, as now the case is over. He soon realized that there are only 2 figures left: himself and Onshu.

------------------

"_To live for something or someone that no longer existed…must be a horrible feeling once the truth is revealed." _Near thought and sighed, _"Not that I would really know the feeling…"_

"_What are you doing? Leave me alone," a young Near demanded as his space is being invaded by Onshu who was crawling around him._

"_Wait, I dropped a puzzle piece from upstairs and I'm sure it landed around here!"_

_Near lightly groaned to himself. He knew he shouldn't have flicked that thing under the side table drawer._

"_I think someone kicked it that way," Near pointed and Onshu growled crawling away while looking under furniture. Near shook his head, not believing that she didn't even question how that's possible. _

------------------

Near closed his eyes, remembering his first encounter with her.

"_She really was the odd one there…not smart enough to be among us…but too smart to not be there. Yet she was happy, at least during certain times. She really is…different. We survived and excelled at the orphanage while she could never reach our level," _Near tossed Onshu's figure away_, "Yet she still enjoyed the orphanage, mostly. Even though she is a nobody, with no identity, no name; she is nothing. Yet somehow…she is something. The world…is the biggest puzzle and I may never solve it…" _

With one last glance, Near's own figure joined the rest of them.

* * *

"_To love and be loved, but to never be together. To live but not live, until the end. To justify and to satisfy can never be the same. I'm somebody but I'm nobody. I exist but I'm empty. Heaven or Hell? Or nothingness? Where does one like myself belong? When I'm neither good nor bad? When I just have one wish…" _Onshu was silently eating a bowl of ice cream by herself as she played chess with herself,

"_The world is full of mysteries and problems that may never be solved. Especially if the people living in this world won't change. We all want one thing right? Happiness isn't it? How could something so simple be so hard to get for some people? Maybe being human is the worst thing in the world. If I was a shinigami, well, life wouldn't be so bad. And why is it that good people are punished and bad people aren't? That sole question is one of the reasons why Kira existed…if I had a Death Note…would I be just like Light? Am I really not so different from him after all? Would the world really be better if he ruled it? I only wanted to kill him for one single reason…yet I never thought about him as Kira, just as a killer. If he never killed Ryuzaki-Kun…would I support Kira?" _

Onshu accidentally knocked a rook off the board when she moved her hand back. Staring at is, she lightly smiled,

"Heh…I can't believe how much I contradict myself…"

She then looked up at a nearby wall clock and then she slowly started to slowly clean up a part of her chess game.

"…Checkmate." She closed in on the king and a single tear fell as she completely puts the game away. Onshu then turned off the lights of the room she was in as she walked out.

"_There is no true justice is there? If there was, we wouldn't have so many problems."_

After a walk's worth of time, Onshu arrived at a small field filled with nothing but grass and a big shady tree. She brought only herself and a single bright red apple in her hand. Setting herself under the shady tree she stared at the empty land.

"…Perhaps the perfect world…is one without humans."

"_Maybe Kira…should've just killed everyone…"_

Onshu closed her eyes and thought of L. Feeling his warmth, his touch, that kiss…her memories played in her head like a movie and it continued to play until everything slowly went black.

Slowly, her fingers moved, and she noticed her hands are empty.

"…I love you, L," she whispered for the wind and for death to hear, as she was joining her beloved soon enough.

_**THE END **_

* * *

**Note:**

**-Onshu's purpose is to represent some other ironies, hypocrites, contradiction and all that jazz in this world. Death Note is full of ironies after all. **

**-Okay, I totally had a great way for her to die except I forgot one little detail in the Death Note plot thus screwed my whole idea up so I had to think of a new ending! I don't think this was as epic as the ending I originally had. **

**Once again, enjoy a new year!**

**Please R and R!!!**


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